Thursday, 12 January 2017

The invisible Epidemic

Just right out of the bat, domestic abuse as a problem is widely ignored. 
Citing quotes from Mankind facts & Statistics and their latest report into domestic abuse: 
One in four women will suffer domestic abuse 
One in six men will suffer domestic abuse. 

That’s an awful lot of your friends, your acquaintances, maybe even members in your family circle.

But male victims are over twice as likely (29%) than women (12%) to not tell anyone about the abuse they have suffered. This topic is more deserving of conversation than ever before. 

There seems to be something ingrained in a man's DNA; some dogma that dictates that to be a real man, we must make light of emotion and pain. (I talk more on the male ego and its stupidity here - He Man

But worse than this is the societal expectation of a man, which creates our own self-image. 

It's the story of the mental health counselor who told a husband being locked out of his home by an angry wife that "As long as he has his car, he has a home".

It's on the Jeremy Kyle show, in a rare second of humanity being horrible, where the audience laugh and jeer at the guy who jumped out of a three story window because his girlfriend - who regularly gives him black eyes and is smiling about it in the back - had locked him in the flat. 

It's the policemen who questioned my friend, who was submitted to horrible sexual abuse "why didn't you just push her off?" – like his shouting "No" multiple times wasn't enough of a sign that perhaps he didn't want to have sex. 

And it's here where male domestic abuse falls the hardest. At police response level. It's the most damning bit of this blog.

In England and Wales, 44% of police responses believed the man's partner that she was the victim. 
35% totally ignored what the man had to say.
In 21% of the cases, the police arrested the man. 
In 3% of the cases, the woman was arrested.

Police are nearly a third likely to ignore signs that a man has been assaulted by a woman, when they respond to a call. 

This is no competition. I'm not writing this blog in any way, shape or form, to say that the situation surrounding domestic violence against women is any better. It's not; it's an issue that makes victims of more people. But I think it's fair to say that domestic violence against men is talked about a whole lot less, and this is why I have written this blog.

And finally, and painfully. 

For the one in four women who will suffer domestic violence, and for the one in six men who will suffer the same, 

In the UK, there are 7,500 women's shelters, which is not enough.

In the UK, there are 60 men's shelters, which is not enough.

If you need support, visit –

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